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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631721">After All This Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie'>oneawkwardcookie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ficlet, First Kiss, M/M, One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:48:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There might be a million reasons why they've ended up where they have tonight, but it's what they both want, even if they can scarcely believe it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>After All This Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Where I wrote an introspective, character study - esque little thing because of one tiny snippet of a scene that came to mind! Eddie just has a lot of doubts... but they're unfounded 🥰</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s late. They’re tired. Buck’s lonely.</p><p>A million and one swirling excuses in the maelstrom of self-doubt that storms round his mind.</p><p>That must be why Buck stayed after everyone else left, why Buck opened his fridge and silently passed him an open beer, why he’s currently spread out across his couch, having half a conversation over the quiet buzzing of the television.</p><p>That must be why he can feel the heat of Buck: a warm thigh jammed against his, a forearm that started off resting behind him and has gradually slipped down the seat cushion until it raises the hairs on the back of his neck, the delicate sigh of Buck’s breath on his cheek … Wait, what?</p><p>Buck has fallen silent, so he turns to see Buck looking at him, and he’s trapped.</p><p>No, not <em>trapped</em> – he’s never felt caged by Buck. Questioned, maybe; challenged, yes; but never trapped. He’s not trapped, he’s held. Held in a moment where nothing exists beyond the muted blue, the parted pink of his lips, and the silence that sparks his skin with the possibilities.</p><p>It’s dark and he’s tired, of not putting himself first and getting what he needs.</p><p>That must be why he leans in, eyes slipping shut.</p><p>“I –”</p><p>The single syllable from Buck stops him in his tracks, and he jerks his eyes open and his lips away, only for Buck to grasp onto his wrist, fingers fluttering on top of his pulse.</p><p>He doesn’t know how to take back the last few seconds, to undo any damage he’s done to the second most precious thing in his life.</p><p>“We don't have to…”</p><p>“No. I want to, God I've, I've waited so long for this.” Buck’s interruption spills out in one quickened breath.</p><p>He searches Buck's eyes, traversing the ocean of them to see if he can find confirmation of a truth that he scarcely believes. It’s not sifting the seafloor for a pearl. The whole expanse of water calls out, relentless waves that have softened the rock face of him.</p><p>“I want to – ”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>For all that Buck practically stumbles forwards in his eagerness, the single word scarcely making its way out of his mouth, it’s a gentle thing – not a battle or an apology or a plea for something more; it isn’t something to be bartered or a compromise or the fulfilment of an expectation.</p><p>It doesn’t make it any less profound, or make it any easier to pull away for air.</p><p>Except Buck keeps him close, breath both soft and heavy against his lips, before he closes the gap again. All his life, he’s just given and given, and so has Buck, but this feel like the rest of their relationship – a partnership of equals, of sensing the others’ needs without words, balancing each other out.</p><p>He’s waited for this so long too, and now he can have it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you liked it, kudos and comments are appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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